The noise violation hung on 18 year old Andrew Charles Donahue’s fridge as a constant reminder of the neighbor that betrayed him. Every day as Donahue reached for the milk the ticket mocked him, but what was it that pushed him over the edge?
Was it the fine he had to pay? Maybe. Was it the early end to the noisy party that had potential to be the best party of the year? Perhaps. Was it the excess milk in each bowl of cereal that was the result of staring at the noise violation as he poured his milk? Doubtful.
After years of psychological analysis no one really understands what is going on in the mind of an arsonist. However, there is one known fact: Andrew Charles Donahue was seeking revenge.
The plan was devious, yet so simple it could only be crafted by an arsonist mastermind. One bag, one lighter, one doorbell, and of course one nasty piece of dog poop. Read more…
Another year, another Super Bowl without a poop ad. Had CBS possessed an inkling of marketing chops, the network would know that the following ad would not only make men eat more Snickers, but would raise the respectability of the nation’s leading station:
Let’s not get into the specifics of why NTG has been dormant for a couple months. Suffice to say that we are back and ready for some new crap.
Below is a picture that NTG took from a bathroom in the historic Castle building of the Smithsonian Institution, on the National Mall. Yes, ladies and gentleman, that is a view of the Capitol, and from the photo taker’s vantage point there are marble stalls and a vintage tampon machine (it didn’t work…believe me, I tried). Do you have a better view from your bathroom?
If so, take a picture and send it to info@numbertwoguide.com and we just might post it for the world to see.
Remember when you were potty trained? I don’t. I was a baby. I can tell you one thing, though - it probably took more than three days.
3-day Potty Training is out to change that, one unsuspecting diaper doodoo at a time. The method, introduced by Lora Jensen, aka the Huggies Hitler (see photo), developed a three-day proven method to ‘gently’ coax the most stubborn toddler into using the john. But if you don’t believe me, take a look at the testimonials:
Holiday season is upon us. So what do you get for that special someone? A diamond necklace? Nope, too tacky. A Kindle? Just buy a book. What you need is some real special shit. Something to commemorate the end of a crappy decade. The decade of 9/11, recession, Bush, and the Yankees. Only one thing is befitting of a holiday season this special: poop.
If you want to give the gift that keeps on giving, start with Monthly Doos. If your boss needs a 2010 calendar filled with pictures of dog poop, you’re covered. Or chocolate poop treats. You can even get your season’s greeting cards here.
Then there’s the Comfort Wipe, which we’ve covered before. However, Amazon is selling this baby for a new low - $11.99.
