Super Bowl ads down the toilet
Another year, another Super Bowl without a poop ad. Had CBS possessed an inkling of marketing chops, the network would know that the following ad would not only make men eat more Snickers, but would raise the respectability of the nation’s leading station:
Unfortunately, CBS tried to retain a reputation and turned down a couple leading contenders for progressive ad of the year. CBS rejected an ad for ManCrunch.com, a gay dating site, on the grounds that the ad was “not within the Network’s broadcast standards for Super Bowl Sunday.” Is that the same standard that showed Tim Tebow tackling his mother to promote a pro-life agenda? “Thanks for keeping me alive mom. Now I can use my god-given talents to ride the bench and take away a woman’s right to govern her own body! Timmmmmy!!”
But seriously, thanks CBS for keeping the ManCrunch ad from hitting airwaves. Now I don’t have to upchuck my stuffed-crust pizza and Doritos while I watch two mens’ hands brush each other in the potato chip bowl, followed by a male-on-male make-out session. The black guy’s reaction at the end of the clip says it all: not-quite-ready.
Let’s face it - 2010 was not the greatest year for Super Bowl ads, but maybe it’s because CBS is screening too closely. After all, it’s too mundane to suggest masturbation (see Megan Fox video) or hitting your grandpa in the nuts (see Volkswagon ad). Who was ManCrunch to suggest two men may be attracted to each other, or Snickers, for showing us that our hunger for butt-candy should not wait?
If you’re paying $3 million for an ad slot, the point is to shock the world or make them laugh. Not bore them to death (pro-lifers) or do the same old song and dance (Super Bowl shufflers). For 2011, let’s not be so afraid of something shocking. And by the way GoDaddy, it’s not that revolutionary to show a woman take off her jacket. If you’re going to keep producing the same lame commercial, go one step farther. At least get her down to the bra.
One day, NTG will purchase a Super Bowl ad. It will feature me eating a big bowl of poop and some text that reads, “for your daily dose of doodoo,” or something stupid like that. The effect will be enhanced because that same year, the Cleveland Browns will be playing for the title. One can dream.
