Poop Calculator

Poop / Poop Calculator

Know Yourself. Know Your Poop.

  • How many times have you pooped in your lifetime?
  • How much toilet paper have you used? How many wipes?
  • Number of times you’ve had explosive diarrhea?
  • How tall would all of your poop logs be if you stacked them end-to-end?

Sample Report


Date of Birth:


Calculate Your Lifetime Poop Stats – In Seconds.

Haven’t you always wished you could see your lifetime statistics for anything with the click of a button?

How many miles have I walked in my lifetime?  How many slices of pizza have I consumed?

Well, when it comes to poop there is no more wondering.  At Number Two Guide we have developed a Poop Calculator to provide you with some of the most important statistics of your life.

Simply enter your birthday and click ‘Calculate’ to get started.

  • Amount of times you clogged the toilet?
  • Number of days you spent pooping?

Customer Reviews

 “I really don’t understand the use of this new knowledge, but I am glad I did it.” Craig S.

“The results made me laugh so much I accidentally pooped my pants, better recalculate.” Christine H.

“Totally useless, but amazing” Clint G.

“Surprisingly accurate.   I actually have sharted 4 times in my life and I specifically remember every horrible moment of each one.  They were awful, glad to see this happens at about the same rate for everyone.” Lindsay D.