I think therefore I poop.
Shortly after the great philosophers tackled the meaning of life they moved on to a bigger better topic. Poop. But, what is poop made of?
Well, much like the earth, poop mainly consists of water. About ¾ of a turd is water. The percentage of water goes up with diarrhea, but I’m sure you have all realized this before when you were wondering why it felt like there was water coming out of your butt.
Poop absorbs water like a sponge as it passes through the intestine during the digestive process. In fact, the longer the poop stays in your system the more water it loses and the dryer it gets.
That leaves ¼ poop left. What makes up the good stuff? You know, the real poopy stuff.
The remaining twenty five percent is split up
between bacteria (both living and dead), fiber, fats, cholesterol and the stuff our body cannot digest.
The bacteria is waste products from the result of our body breaking down food and taking out all of the nutrients and items we need for energy. This bacteria is the root cause of the smell that is associated with poop because it breaks down into odor filled organic compounds that contain nitrogen, sulfur and other smelly gasses such as hydrogen sulfide. Here at NTG we are thinking of selling a new cologne called Poop Bacteria. Perfect for all of those occasions where you just want to be left alone. No seats on the bus? Spray on some Poop Bacteria, and presto! All of the seats around you are now empty.
The fiber in poop helps push the feces along and get it through the entire digestive process easily. That is why if you are having trouble pooping people often recommend that you add more fiber to your diet. Fiber is like a passport for poop. Sure you can try to travel without your passport, but there is a strong chance you are going to run into all sorts of problems and headaches. Fiber, the passport of poop (new fiber slogan).
Poop also contains excessive vitamins and nutrients that the body already had enough of, and other items it could not digest like cellulose (the stuff found in corn, and why you see corn in your poop).
Remember, your body takes what it needs and puts the rest into its own compost pile, which is why poop makes great fertilizer.
So the next time you take a picture of your poop with your cell phone and send it to your friends be sure to add, “Dude, check out my massive water combined with bacteria (both living and dead), fiber, fats, cholesterol and the stuff our body cannot digest. Double flusher”
Check out this NumberTwoGuide.com original video that outlines exactly what poop is made of: