State of the Poonion #2

Poop Update

State of the PoonionPoop is back. In a big way.

I don’t want to compare it to the epic national shift in gay marriage approval, but I kind of do. It feels more out there, more open than it ever has. It’s a PRIDE we can all share.

I was in a car yesterday where a woman openly farted. Farted. Like it was no big deal. She made no grand apology. She didn’t call attention to it. When confronted, she simply said, “I couldn’t help it.”

Ain’t that the truth. None of us can help it, right? Farts, poop, diarrhea, it just happens. But while our bodies accept it, WE must embrace it, socially. We CAN help it, by talking about it. By making it OK that a woman farts in a car so intolerably that I’m nearly begging the driver to roll down the windows (I did not know this woman particularly well so I thought it would be in bad taste to be the one to roll down the window on a 98-degree day with the A/C blasting). We can help it by providing an open forum for all of us to talk, learn and laugh at poop. We can, in essence, make Number Two Guide bigger and better. Well, that is something we have just done.

If you’re reading this, you’re a new visitor to the new Number Two Guide. Much more than a stinking pile of shit, this 2.0 site will better help you understand and discuss the world of poop. From user-submitted stories to frequently-spoken poop terms to answering your burning scatalogical questions, it’s all here and easier to access. Just check out the navigation bar to get started, or send us your personal stories to make a huge contribution to social poopers everywhere.

In addition to our great new layout with more to offer, we are launching a Poop Calculator. That’s right – ever wondered how many Empire State Buildings your poop would reach if stacked end-to-end? Or how much toilet paper you’ve used in your lifetime? It’s a fun, moderately scientific way to get in touch with your bowel movements and share your answers with pride via Facebook or the Twittersphere.

Like I said, poop is back in a big way. And we’re here to make sure the topic never gets flushed down the toilet but stays pertinent for years and years like a floater in an abandoned house. So let your poop flag fly and wave those brown-toned colors back and forth with pride. It’s legal in 49 states (New York may have banned it along with soft drinks).

Your friends at NTG.