The Piss & Fart

Poop / Poop Scoop / The Piss & Fart
No Pissy Farters Allowed
No Pissy Farters Allowed

Rule #1 – It is natural for your muscles to relax when peeing. It is also natural for a man to get aroused when reading Maxim at the local Border’s. Does that mean it’s acceptable to T.C.O.B.? No – sometimes you have to restrain yourself.

Rule #2 – A public bathroom isn’t always empty when it’s quiet. Please, do a thorough check of the stalls if you think you’ll need to fart at the urinal.

Rule #3 – Grunting noises are unacceptable. Million Dollar Baby is a sad movie, but I refuse to cry at the end. You must fight the urge to audibly express the sensation you’re feeling.

Rule #4 – If you happen to accidentally fart while at the urinal:

  • In the presence of someone you know – acknowledge it, either with an ‘excuse me,’ dorky laugh, or ‘whoops’
  • In the presence of a stranger – act like nothing happened

Farting at the urinal is a different beast than farting in a stall. If you can, relegate the public bathroom fart only to the privacy of the stall. When you’re at a urinal, you’re out in the open, and I see it as no different than: farting in line at the movie theater; farting at the dinner table when you’re saying grace; farting during your acceptance speech at the Oscar’s; or farting at your grandfather’s funeral, during the eulogy.

The public bathroom is a public space. Rule #5 – treat is as such.

4 thoughts on “The Piss & Fart

  1. “When you’re at a urinal, you’re out in the open, and I see it as no different than: farting in line at the movie theater; farting at the dinner table when you’re saying grace; farting during your acceptance speech at the Oscar’s; or farting at your grandfather’s funeral, during the eulogy.”

    Seriously, NTG? You see no difference between farting at a urinal in a public restroom and farting in line at a movie theater, at the dinner table, during an Oscar acceptance speech, or at a funeral during a eulogy? Seriously?

    A restroom, even a public one, is especially designed to T.C.O.B. and if that means expelling a little stinky, by all means, one should feel free to do so, whether sitting in a stall or at standing at the urinal. It’s a bathroom for crissake. Do what you gotta do, man.

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