When my friend’s girlfriend recently attended a popular beach bar, she found herself in the likely situation of having to pee after hours of drinking. The bar, which has approximately four bathrooms per sex, provided no shortage of stalls in which to accomplish this task. However, five out of the six available stalls were overflowing and had poop on the floor. Five! In search of a little privacy and cleanliness, she had to wait forty minutes just to use the one toilet that hadn’t been spoiled by a crew of all-day beach partying, burrito-eating women.
Now, I know five out of six toilets being clogged is rather high. Personally, I haven’t come across a number like that in any public toilet I’ve been to. So it got me thinking: are women’s public restrooms more inclined to be stinky, clogged, and all-around dirtier than men’s? Yes.
Here is the general list of reasons why they’re dirtier:
1. Women have smaller bladders so they pee more frequently than men.
2. Oftentimes, women are the ones to bring small children into the restrooms, and children are likely to make a mess.
3. Correct me if I’m wrong, but women take less time-consuming poops than men, affording them the opportunity to stealthily poop in public without being caught.
4. Women have more bathroom products that make an appearance in public, including: tampons, makeup, tweezers, lip gloss, and others. Men rarely bring materials into the restroom.
5. Women, on average, have longer hair than men, which will be more noticeable when shed.
6. Women are experts on hovering above public toilet seats, so they are naturally better public toilet poopers. Most men refrain from getting their bare ass near a public toilet.
7. Instead of relieving gas out in the open, women will go to the bathroom and take care of the problem.
8. Women spray perfume after they poop to cover up the smell; this simply mixes with the poop smell in the bathroom to create an even fouler odor.
9. Women use more toilet paper (numbers 1 and 2 included).
10. With no urinals comes no urinal cakes, which often creates an overwhelming smell in the men’s bathroom.
Women are more afraid to touch handles in the bathroom and are thus less likely to flush a big turd down the drain.
I honestly just intended to include five, but as I began thinking about it, there really are so many reasons why women’s bathrooms would be dirtier than men’s.
I feel like women are ashamed of this arena. They rarely discuss it with their coworkers, guy friends, boyfriends, or husbands. Poop is, admittedly, more of a taboo subject for women. Therefore, they prefer to sh*t and get off the pot, even if that means forgetting to flush.